May 2013
15 posts
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Hands
Wrapping my fingers around hers Always makes me feel high It is one of her many reminders Of how amazing it must feel to die And I have thought about death More than she has favorite bands Because I die and go to heaven Every time that we hold hands
yo, if you’re scared that allowing openly gay members into the boy scouts will brainwash your child or make them gay or whatever, i just want to remind you that keeping your child away from ANYTHING only makes them more intrigued by it. that’s why kids accidentally shoot each other with daddy’s rifle, just saying! okay, bye.
Caterpillars
My mother once told me that you cannot love another person unless you love yourself, but I’ve never hated myself more than I do today, and I still can’t stop seeing that goddamned ghost everywhere that I go. While walking my dog today, I looked down at my feet and saw caterpillars trying their hardest to cross the path without getting crushed by cyclists and other walkers that...
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The Pearl
I want to be something more, like the grain of sand that becomes a pearl. I want her to wear me around her neck. I want to hang from each of her ears. I want to lie upon her shoulders in the pockets above her clavicles. I want her to think that I’m flawless. I want her to think that I’m perfect. I want to be the pearl on the necklace that makes her feel gorgeous, and I want to be the...
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I don’t think that you’ll see this, but I’d like for you to know that from the day that I first saw you up until 12:30 this morning, my life had meaning. You gave me so much more than anybody else ever had or even wanted to give me, and I’m really devastated that I’d let my selfishness consume what we had together. You always gave me happiness at times when I thought...
Love & Loss (by gingerphoenix) →
“If I sat on the beach and counted the waves I’d lose count before making it to the number of people I wanted to kiss today And if I found myself at the cemetery and counted the graves I’d lose count before making it to the number of people I’ve ever thrown away” - ryan-sucks.com
Loooook! It’s me! ^
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Cemetery Waves
If I sat on the beach and counted the waves
I would lose count before making it to the number of people I wanted to kiss today
And if I found myself at the cemetery and counted the graves
I would lose count before making it to the number of people I’ve ever thrown away
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Beach House
Things are starting to feel like they did early last summer, which was lovely and all, but I find myself wondering if I should get as close as I did the last time I felt this way. I never want to feel like I did when it all blew up in my face, and I never want to feel like I did when I had nobody to discuss it with that could actually understand how I felt. I can barely even listen to certain...
i’ve put up with her second-hand smoke for so long only because i can’t do without the second-hand love she gives to me.
April 2013
20 posts
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2PM
i finally wake up. she’s nowhere to be found and the phone’s ringing. i get up to answer, but when i pick it up, nothing. nobody’s there. i hang up the phone and it continues ringing. i check several times before i rip it out of the wall. weird, i don’t even remember having a house phone. i pick up my cellphone. no texts or missed calls. it’s 2pm. “where the...
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i think my favorite days are the ones where our friendship was in its early stages. just friends. strictly business. i never felt like something dark was growing between us. i didn’t over-analyze everything. every time i spoke to you, you had something new to reveal about yourself. i especially loved going for walks with you. and every time we walked, you would wait until we were miles away...
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Listen
I just want to be the outlier for once in my life.
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Anonymous asked: I just want you to love me, Ryan. God damn it.
I am Christine Gruenbauer's Essay on Euthanasia.
I think the theme of my year so far is that I don’t need certain things to be happy, not that I actually know what happiness feels like anyway (depression joke ha ha). I keep finding things in my life that I want to throw away or just set aside for a little while, and I hate to admit that some of those things are people. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t need a lot of the...
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Dead Leaves
Whenever the leaves fall from a tree Their race to the bottom reminds me of me Grounded, the leaves suffer day in and day out For they have no lovers for their minds to think about But when I die and my lips turn blue I will spend my last moments thinking of you And with my last breath I will lie under the trees Wondering if I also remind you of their leaves
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March 2013
9 posts
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Like a lonely drive through godawful Tennessee, I long for excitement and a place to stretch my legs. And I swear on the high fructose corn syrup I found in my Welch’s grape juice that the black cloud following me is already waiting for me wherever I go.
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Piles of Leaves
How strange it must feel to feel nothing at all
When the rain has fallen on your face for so long
And how lost you must feel when the wind dies down
When you look all around to see nothing at all
And when you find me under the blankets
You will look at me as if I am nothing at all
And we will fall from the bed and let the piles of leaves catch us
As they had caught me when I fell out of...
The world is incredibly large, and with that comes an incredibly large amount of opportunities and choices. I feel shitty for complaining about being able to do just about anything that I want, but I am awful at making decisions. Since high school, I’ve been stuck in the mindset where I believe that I don’t know what I want in life. Maybe I do know, but am just too afraid to...
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Anonymous asked: I miss talking to you.
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Time Traveler
My knuckles stay bloody
As I try to escape my head
By punching my way out
Every night while lying in bed
But when that magic moment comes
I feel nothing as the clock races toward
The morning where I’ll wake up
Knuckles still sore, but feet moving forward
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February 2013
18 posts
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Someday soon, when someone mentions your name, I won’t remember what you looked like. Your features will have faded from my memory. I’m still hanging on, but that’s not what’s best for me. When has that mattered anyway?
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That was the longest episode of Family Guy ever
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Listen
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